When G and I first started dating we were steadfastly "open" then over time evolved into swinging "together-only" for 2 1/2 years, but that didn't fill my need for the type of partners I'm attracted to as leather lesbian and trans-gen F-M tend not to be attracted to men... Beyond even that though, I'm also at a place in my life where I'm wanting solo playtime.
To scratch that itch we tested out "hall passes", which were fine, but don't fill my community or deeper needs so we are now in the bigging stages of trying to open fully again.
Yes, it's pretty clear, I am looking to open us so I can connect with the lesbian community and find a place there. G is more into the sex for the sake of sex. Neither of these is bad, but it's nice to know that he can get his play one place and I can get my community elsewhere. Obviously our communication has been ongoing and extensive.... Given our mix of worlds, any advice for pitfalls to watch out for?