whats left

What were some of the hiccups...

Other people have come across when opening (or re-opening) their relationships?

When G and I first started dating we were steadfastly "open" then over time evolved into swinging "together-only" for 2 1/2 years, but that didn't fill my need for the type of partners I'm attracted to as leather lesbian and trans-gen F-M tend not to be attracted to men... Beyond even that though, I'm also at a place in my life where I'm wanting solo playtime.

To scratch that itch we tested out "hall passes", which were fine, but don't fill my community or deeper needs so we are now in the bigging stages of trying to open fully again.

Yes, it's pretty clear, I am looking to open us so I can connect with the lesbian community and find a place there. G is more into the sex for the sake of sex. Neither of these is bad, but it's nice to know that he can get his play one place and I can get my community elsewhere. Obviously our communication has been ongoing and extensive.... Given our mix of worlds, any advice for pitfalls to watch out for?


Looking to talk to someone

I am a 26 year old graduate student at USC film school who is doing her thesis documentary on jealousy. Within this, I am looking at polyamorous relationships. In particular, I am looking at the rules that couples set before becoming polyamorous, as well as the effects it has on the relationship.

I am currently doing research and am looking for people within the area to talk to about their experiences with me off camera.

I want to state that I am not looking at this subject to be exploitative. I am hoping to explore human nature, in particular why we feel we NEED to have only one couple when few other mammals attach themselves to one partner.

If anyone is interested in speaking to me- either via email, phone or in person, whatever makes you comfortable-- I would greatly appreciate it. Please just respond to this and I'll get back to you.

Thanks so much!

Odd things and observations.

My rant today is based off of my long term observations in my own lifetime, particularly after coming out as Poly.

Here is the thing. About 90% of the Poly women I meet through all sources are married or a functional equivilent. Of those, about 50% are in a functionally or actually monogamous marriage. And an additional 40% exclude the possibility of a male partner.

Of those in monogamous marriages, nearly all, about 80% of the women are very attracted to me in some signifigant way.

Which has led to some very very frustrating experiences, because I'm not willing to be the back door man. This has also led me to despise those couples who have gender exclusions in their Poly relationships.

Interestingly enough, the vast majority of married (or equivilant) Poly women are attracted to me, while the vast majority of single poly women are not.

If anyone has any insights please feel free to share.

*note* All percentages are guestimates based on personal reflection and as such are subject to a +/- 10% error.
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West Coast Polyamory Conference: OCT 5-7:


OCT 5 - 7, 2007

The World Polyamory Association' s 2007 Northern California Conference will be held at Harbin Hot Springs, CA in Middletown, located about two hours from both San Francisco and Sacramento.

If you are interested in Polyamory, Polyfidelity, Open relationships or Responsible Non-monogamy, this is the place to be!

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Say, I don't suppose.....

...there are people still taking any interest in being both poly and in LA, is there? Between 70 and 79 supposedly still active LJ accounts are members of Poly_LA and yet not a whiff of activity in about half a year. As an Angeleno who would like more poly activity in my life, I'd enjoy seeing this community get resurrected.

Poly cards

We don't really mean this as an ad, but we have gotten requests from many folks to do this, so here goes. We have opened two new web sites, and both are Poly related.

the first one is an E-Greeting site called Alternative Lifestyles Cards. You can send free greeting cards to your poly friends and partners.

The second is a more formal store, featuring traditional things such as cards, announcements, t-shirts and such, all featuring Poly themes.

We hope that the sites serve the needs of the poly community. If you wish you can always suggest new themes or ideas.
art, name, drawing, hacker, abstrak

(no subject)

Hola mi amigos y mi amigas. I just found out about this group and it's late so i'll do the lame ass greatings post. I'm 25 (turning 26 this august)and i'm straight and have (just in the past yaer) realized i was poly and such. So hello and all that.

Polyamory? Responsible Non-Monogamy? Open Relationships?

Are you interested in polyamory, Open relationships or responsible non-monogamy? If so, there is a conference happening June 17-19 that you will be very interested in.

This polyamory conference will be happening at Harbin Hot Springs, California, USA,(June 17-19, 2005) just outside of Middleton,(two hours north of San Francisco. This event will be happening in a safe, clothing optional setting in which free sexual expression is permitted within the area designated for the conference.

To register for the conference, or to receive more information,
click on the address below:


If you are interested, the time to act is now, for the current discount price for registration will expire in 2 days!