If you want to register for the conference, or merely to receive more information, click on the link below:
A tentative description of the schedule of presentations is included below:
This is an update on the schedule of presenters for the Harbin Hot Springs Polyamory Conference, happening on June 17-19 in Northern California. To register for the conference, or to obtain more information, click the link below:
The schedule listed below is tentative and subject to change. We're still taking applications for presenters and making decisions about the order and timing of presentations. We'll announce the final schedule as soon as we've made our final decisions. At this time, we plan to also a presentation on Bisexuality and Polyamory, BDSM and Polyamory, a section on problem-solving
techniques as well as approximately 12- 15 additional presentations. Most of these will run concurrently with those listed below, but the exact schedule and description of these presentations is still under discussion. Anyone
wishing to do a presentation at this conference should contact us as soon as possible., as we hope to publish the final line-up by early May.
Tentative Conference Schedule for Harbin Hot Springs,
June 17-19, 2005
FRIDAY, JUNE 17, 2005 4:00 PM - 11:00 PM
4:00 PM: Registration Opens
4:15 - 5:00 PM Newcomer's Circle: Orientation especially designed for
those new to polyamory and/or for those attending their first polyamory conference, - but all are welcome. It's a good place to get your
burning questions asked, begin getting your feet wet, and begin to
get to know your fellow participants at the conference.
5:00 - 6:30 Dinner
6:30 - 7:30 - Opening Circle, Pods: Presenters; Sasha, Janet & Dave.
This is an introductory event to help break the ice that will
continue for the whole conference. First we play non-verbally. Then we talk and join small (6 -12 person) groups based upon mutual affinity and
choice. Our group is our pod. Our pod supports us getting what we
want at the conference and in life. Throughout the weekend, we will periodically check in and talk with our pod mates about what we've
learned about polyamory, love and relationships. To prepare for the
rest of the conference, we'll do exercises such as we imagine taking new lovers into our network, and roleplaying activities such as joining a group of established lovers.
7:30 - 9:30 - SO WHAT DO YOU WANT? Your Deepest Desires: Presenter:
Dave Doleshal, Ph.D
Getting what you REALLY want is light-years ahead of merely
avoiding the things you DON'T want. What you really want is far beyond "settling" for what you are "willing to tolerate," accepting what some
belief system, the media, political correctness or an authority
figure has taught you to say you want. This is especially true in intimate relationships, and all the more so with non-monogamous relationships. Most
people are much clearer about what they wish to avoid than about what they actually want, and this absence of clarity about your true desires is often a major obstacle that stands in the way of creating satisfying polyamorous relationships. Clarifying your desires will put you way ahead of the game in polyamory. You can't GET what you want until you KNOW what you want.
(So what do you want?)
9:30 - 11 PM - POLYAMOROUS LIFESTYLES AS INSPIRED BY SCIENCE FICTION
AND FANTASY LITERATURE. Presenters: Terry Brussel Gibbons, et all.
While no one believes anyone can literally duplicate the non-
monogamous styles depicted in Stranger in a Strange Land or similar stories, such literature has nevertheless inspired people for
decades. Such tales can capture the imagination, arouse a vision
close to the heart, and indirectly impart many truths to many levels of the mind. Just as mythology has empowered people thoughout the ages to live more courageously and authentically, so too the tales of
non-monogamous lifestyles found in contemporary fiction offers a rich
source of inspiration to people wanting to live polyamorous lives in the "real" world. Terry, Paul and Marcus coordinate Live the Dream, an education and support group based in Southern California for those who, originally inspired by the writings of such authors as Robert
Heinlein, Robert Rimmer and Marion Zimmer Bradley are now ready to
LIVE such alternative lifestyles as cooperative living, open relationships and group marriage.
Saturday June 18, 2005 - Conference 7:30 AM - Midnight
7:30 - 9:00 AM - Breakfast
9:00 - 10:00 AM - Sasha, Janet & Dave : Pods: Reunite with your Podmates, update, check-in. How are you doing? How are you Feeling? What's going with you? What do you want?
10:00 - 12:00 - Rapid Techniques For Jealousy Management -
Presenter: Dave Doleshal
It is sometimes naively (and quite incorrectly) imagined that
polyamorous people claim they do NOT experience jealousy at all. "Jealousy" is a broad catch-all term that cover a very wide range of distinct mental states and emotions. The key to dealing with jealousy is not denial nor suppression of any such feelings, but of learning to manage them skilfully something all people of ordinary intelligence are capable of doing. There are dozens of excellent approaches and effective techniques that can be used to manage jealousy. All of them work at least to some extent. This workshop will include several methods that are very powerful, easy to learn, but not yet widely known within the polyamory community. This will include the methods originally pioneered by psychologist Roger Callahan that involves the gentle tapping of acupressure points (no needles) and methods invented by Dr. Edward
Bach, (a British physician), that uses a set of homeopathic herbal medications. Other methods may be included as time permits.
12:00 - 1:30 Lunch
1:30 - 3:30 Non-Violent Communication; Presenter: Kelly Bryson.
Nonviolent Communication(SM) presents a collection of simple effective techniques which facilitate cooperation and satisfaction in our communication with others and within ourselves. The use of these skills does not depend on the knowledge or use of the skills by others. This is a very good method to have available when dealing with any matter where delicate emotions are a central theme - such as when negotiating about non-monogamous relationships. As the name implies, this approach to communication emphasizes compassion as the motivation for action rather than fear, guilt, shame, blame, coercion, threat or justification of punishment. In other words, it is about getting what you want for reasons you will not regret later. These techniques allow you to make conscious choices about how you will respond if you get what you want, or if you do not get what you want. It is definitely NOT about guilt and tricking people into giving you what you want. The skills are built on Dr. Marshall Rosenberg's model for Nonviolent Communication(sm). Development of these skills allows us to focus on and clarify what we and others are observing, how and why we are feeling as we do, and what we would like to have happen. These skills emphasize personal responsibility for our actions and the choices we make when we respond to others.
3:30 - 5:00 - Co-Housing as a Realistic Alternative Housing Option
for a Polyamorous Community Presenter: Spring Friedlander:
5:00 - 6:30 - Dinner
6:30 - 8:30 - Keynote Speaker : To Be Announced
8:30 - 10:30 PM- POLYAMORY GAMES: Presenters Cathy and Barry Smiler.
Yes there are such things! Totally fun. Safe. Non-Coercive.
Interactive and participatory. Touch/body positive, partner-changing, bonding, clothing optional, win-win for all.
More details to follow.
10:30 - Midnight - Tantra and Polyamory: Presenters: Shama and Don
Kraig We frequently hear in the media how sex in relationships eventually
becomes boring. Even some people in poly relationships often find themselves in a rut, doing the same old thing while getting lesser results.
It doesn't have to be that way!
Through Tantra, you can experience NOW how to resurrect the passion
and ecstasy in every aspect of your life as you expand your passion, your pleasure, and the depth of your intimacy beyond your wildest
dreams! Step into a new paradigm of love, of sex and of living. Shama
and Don Kraig guide you on this amazing exploration of awakening, consciousness and bliss.
Sunday June 19, 2005
8:00 - 9:00 AM -Breakfast
9:00 - 10:30 AM DEALING WITH CHILDREN IN POLYAMOROUS FAMILIES.
Practical advice and information about parenting and children when the adults
are involved in non-monogamous relationships. Presented by someone who has learned through
10:30 - 12:00 Noon "NO SEPARATE RELATIONSHIPS" : Presenter: Kirsten
Polyamory is often defined as several separate relationships going on
simultaneously. However, an alternative perspective, inspired by shamanism, tantra and family systems theory, is to view it all as one single relationship that encompasses multiple persons and multiple points of responsibility. Viewing relationships in such a manner can resolve a number of practical "problems" often confronting people wishing to create and sustain non-monogamous lifestyles.
12:00 - 1:00 PM - Lunch
1:00 - 2:00 PM - Languages of Love: Presenters: Akien MacIain & Dawn
Each of us has our own unique style of expressing love to another,
as well as our own ways of "feeling" we are loved by someone else. Sometimes these styles match those of our partners - and sometimes
they don't. When they match, our partners will feel loved and
appreciated by us, but when they don't, our partners will feel unloved, unappreciated, unhappy and frustrated. (Much of the distressing emotions that people call "jealousy" can be understood in this light and resolved using this approach).Understanding people have their own distinct "languages of love" enables us to communicate to each of our lovers in the way they wish to be spoken to, and to receive love from others in more satisfying ways. Presentation will include demonstrations and exercises drawn from NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming).
2:00 - 3:00 Final Circle: Closure, Networking and Goodbyes
3:00 Conference Buildings are locked
3:15 - 5:00 PM After the completion of the official conference,
there will be an additional post-conference meeting concerned with various projects intended to "advance the cause" of polyamory. Anyone with a project related to this purpose is encouraged to attend and give a brief (5-10 minute)
presentation about it. This can include proposed projects that are
purely in the imagination/concept/planning stage or progress reports about on an ongoing project. This will be a good place to receive feedback, inspiration, and find support or collaboration. Anyone who has registered and attended the conference is invited to attend and present at this meeting at no additional charge.
To register for the conference, or to obtain more information, go
the website below:
We have recently been experiencing occasional technical
problems with the website and its online registration
system, so if you should experience any difficulties with the
website, please notify us by phone immediately, and we
can take care of your registration by phone.
Sasha and Janet (in Hawaii) 808-244-4103
Dave (in California) 415-577-6015